Joel: It's Sunday and now Rakhi and I can relax after one of the most hellish days of my life. Yesterday we helped out at an English camp at our school and it was a day of utter horror. The last camp we did was run by Mediakids, the company we work for, and since the team are so experienced and slick, the result was a weekend that I'm sure carried with it quite a bit of magic for the young students. Kevin, the guy who emceed, is a master of his craft and all the kids were absolutely buzzing the whole time. There were silly games, fun chants and a great party atmosphere in the evening. This time, the school thought they could save a bit of cash by hiring a Filipino guy they knew to organise and emcee the show and rope us in to help out. We didn't really want to do it without the Mediakids boys and from the start we warned them that unless the camp was well organised and slickly run it could be a disaster - which, despite our buckets of sweat and enthusiasm, I feel like it pretty much was.

The guy they got in was called Benchz (no, I'm not sure about the "z" either, he pronounced it "Bench"). This chap insisted on calling me "sir", Rakhi "madam" and Ting, the Chinese teacher, "Miss China" for the entire day despite me suggesting to him, for at least the first ten times, "My name's Joel, you can call me Joel". You gotta try and remember people's names, man. He talked at the kids in a monotone voice using the most complex expressions he could muster and of course was met with blank expressions and bored kids. He was utterly disorganised, the materials he had prepared were strewn with inaccurate language and he clearly did not have a fondness for kids; each time he grabbed a young arm and dragged a kid up, I cringed. And all of these cracks he tried to cover over with a smarmy smile. Despite some expected last-minute requests from the Thai teachers, Rakhi and I insisted that we still wouldn't be able to come along again today and I'm pretty sure now we'll need the time to recover. I'm not sure how much money the school saved, they paid us twice what Mediakids would, but I'm sure now they realise the importance of having people to run things who are organised, light-hearted, a bit god-damn charismatic, like kids and make things fun! Okay, rant over. It was a long, long day.

Many things have happened to us this past two weeks. Last week, I had the joy of not having to teach any classes and instead rehearse an English play with some of the students from the top matayom 6 class. Despite the concept of competitive drama seeming utterly ridiculous to me, it was a great opportunity to do something fun and hopefully interesting with a group of the best students. Saying that, rather than choosing a piece by Billy Shakespeare, I decided to go with an episode of "Friends", more specifically, "The One Where No-one's Ready" or rather, the one where Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothes at once. Anyone who says they haven't seen this farcical masterpiece is a liar.


Joey: You said you wanted the chair. You didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right. I'm taking the essence!

So, I adapted the script, showed the students the episode (which I downloaded, I don't have the box-set lying around) and set about knocking it into a prize-winning piece of theatrical gold. To be honest, the students are so good that despite not usually having the opportunity to speak English, they understand most things I say and more than a couple of them demonstrated a fair bit of dramatic flair. The six actors and I spent a few hours a day for four days in the rehearsal room and with the help of Rakhi, Joe (the older Dutch guy who teaches at our school) and a few of the girls from the same class, we got props and a set together and on Friday travelled to another school in the area to perform in the first "round". With only one other entry, and a score from the judges of 555 out of 600 we made it safely through and will be heading further afield on Friday to the next round, where seven new competitors await. Of course, despite my scoffing at the idea of competitive drama, my sometime competitive nature (really? you cry) means that I'm already imagining we're all in a film about how a group of Thai students wow the world with their stage version of Friends. I hear whooping and cheering and the Eminem track from Eight Mile and have visions of the gang of us dancing round with a trophy like Nobby Stiles. Life is very confusing for me at times.

Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Joey, Monica and the Introduction Guy...clearly!

Also this week, we moved house. We moved into Fritz's old house on Wednesday. It's much brighter than our old place which allowed in pretty much no natural light. This place has a lovely veranda area where we can hang the hammock, a creature-tight kitchen that's beautiful and clean and Rakhi isn't too scared to go into, and bright light streaming through the windows of every room. We were putting a bit of a brave face on the old place really, it was a bit depressing. Our only concern about here was that there's no washing-machine, so we paid a visit to the owner who works in our school and yesterday she went out and bought a new one which she's going to bring over today to fit. And you can't argue with that.

Last weekend in Bangkok, we went to one of the big lady-boy cabaret shows (that's a big show, not big lady-boys... scary!) Since these performances are famous worldwide, I kind of expected a sell-out show in a buzzing theatre full of folk drinking cocktails around little tables. Instead, this huge theatre hosted an audience of perhaps only thirty to forty. The drinks were expensive and the show lasted hardly more than an hour. It was good fun though and needed to be done while we're living here. The performance was mixture of lip-synched ballads and big, high-kicking camp classics. Although the performers were clearly at different stages of their transformation there was only one who I was convinced was a girl. She looked just like Monica Lewinsky (which is perhaps why I dreamed I was out drinking with Bill Clinton last night) and I could see her giving many a man that Begbie moment. A slightly sour taste was left after a fun performance when, as we left, we were forced to pass a line of the performers who were all enthusiastically beckoning us for a photo opportunity and obligatory tip. The ticket price was huge for a one-hour show, girls. I suppose the show is most popular with tourists and they must make a bit from them, but it all seemed a bit undignified.

Next weekend we're going to go back into the city to meet up with Shano, our old pal from Korea. He packed in his job in Bucheon and is now just checking out a few places round Asia. Rakhi spoke to him the other day and he's in Hong Kong at the moment but he's decided to come and meet up with us in Bangkok. It'll be nice to catch up with him.

Rakhi: I'm finally taking a well earned break. Joel and I had an early start yesterday as we had to come to school early to do the 'Morning Greeting.' The Morning Greeting is a load of tripe that's been written into our contracts. Basically, we have to stand at the school gates for half an hour and say 'hi' to all the students that walk past. Thankfully, we only have to do it once a week but it's still a waste of time.

As of yesterday, all the Thai English teachers in our department have had to attend a three day seminar in a neighbouring city. That means that the rest of us have had to cover their classes. Yesterday I was busy from 7:30 am until 12pm, I had a break for lunch and then I had to resume teaching for another two hours. It doesn't sound like much but I can tell you that teaching 50 minute classes with over 50 students who don't speak the same language as you can be pretty tiring. I haven't had to cover any classes today so I'm enjoying the three hour break I have before my next class!

Our English department is starting to resemble the United Nations; there are 13 Thai teachers, two teachers from Holland (Fritz and Joe), a Chinese teacher (Ting), Joel, myself and I'm told that there's a teacher from Korea on the way too. The Thai teachers are ace but they are 'feeders!' Their favourite pastime is definitely eating! It's astonishing the amount of food that gets consumed in the English room in one day. There's a spare desk in the staff room and when teachers come into school in the morning they deposit things on it for everybody to eat. Throughout the day, snacks are always left on my desk or given to me in person or both and at least once a day I'm called over to try something whether I like it or not.

Last Sunday, the daughter of one of the teachers got married in Bangkok so we were all invited to the wedding. I was hoping it would be a buddhist ceremony but as she was marrying an American guy, the wedding took place in a church. My agony was prolonged when the vows and passages from the bible were read in both Thai and English and then the priest gave the couple a lecture on how to be husband and wife. The reception was held in a lovely hotel, there was lots of delicious food and we got to spend some time with the teachers outside of school so that made it all worthwhile.

The most exciting thing that's happening in Takhli at the moment, is that Joel and I are moving house. Fritz recently moved to a brand new house on the other side of town and Joel and I were toying with the idea of doing the same. However, we decided that moving to a new house makes no sense as it will be totally unfurnished. Fritz is staying until next year so he can justify spending money on a bed, a fridge and other furniture. We're just here for another twelve weeks so it's pointless forking out money. There are fully furnished houses around but they're not really much better than the place we're in now. Also, there doesn't seem to be an in between; places are either empty or furnished and full of the owners crap and clutter. Our place is alright but it's very depressing as natural light doesn't get in since the property has a big covered caged bit at the front. Also, I really don't like the kitchen, I never go in there since we have all sort of creatures crawling around and getting in through the gaps in the roof.

After, looking at a couple of houses we came to the conclusion that the best solution could be to move across the road into Fritz's house. His house is more airtight than ours so he rarely gets any creepy crawlies, it's more modern, there's aircon, a nice clean kitchen, internet connection, a nice outdoor area and best of all LOTS of natural light. Fritz has to pay two months rent at his new place since our company have paid for his old place in advance. If we move into Fritz's it's all sorted so we don't have to pay anything ourselves. The owners have even said that they'll install a washing machine for us. There's only one snatch... Fritz moved out of his place because there are eighteen caged dogs just behind his house and sometimes he finds it hard to sleep because of the barking. That's not the only reason though, he doesn't care much for the area we live in either. Last night, Joel and I did a trial run of Fritz's place to see whether the noise was really that bad. We slept like babies and found there were no disturbances at all also, whilst it's not the nicest area, it's safe and we have a bike now so can get anywhere in town easily. I think we're going to move in after school today.

This Saturday, we have to do another English camp at our school. This time, it's with the Prattom (elementary) kids from another school in the area and we only have to work on Saturday. We don'h have the expertise of Mediakids staff to guide us this time and I don't think that there's an experienced camp leader- I hope it goes okay.

Rakhi: This week has been a strange week at school. One reason is because earlier in the week, classes were shorter or cancelled altogether so that students could practice for 'Wai Kru' (why-crew) or 'Teacher Day,' today. This morning, the entire school piled into the school gym and the surrounding courtyard to pray and listen to some monks chant. Once the monks had finished, I was invited to go with one of the teachers to offer the monks some food. It is believed that doing this will earn you some merit for your next life. Then, there was a ceremony where students handed out beautifully arranged flowers to their teachers who in return are expected to bless their students and pray for their success.

One of my Mattoyam 2 classes picked me to give their flowers to and another class selected Joel. A representative from each class came up to the front of the stage where we were sitting in a line, bowed down in front of our feet and then handed us flowers. It's nice to know that we're amongst a society where teachers are so respected but at the same time it felt unusual having a teenager bow at my feet. I do feel very privileged to have been part of the ceremony and feel that being a teacher here rather than just a tourist allows a real insight into Thai culture and customs.

Another unusual thing about this week is that Joel and I, but mainly Joel, have been doing an English play with the best students from Mattoyam 6. It's for a regional competition and we were only told about it last Friday. Since Joel has so much expertise in this area he's taken control of the whole thing and he's been doing an excellent job, I'm very impressed with him. He's adapted and simplified an episode of Friends and has been directing the whole thing too. We were told that the first round was taking place tomorrow but then we were told that we had gotten through the first round because only one other school had entered, then we were told that it is actually this Friday again! So, we've been working at it whenever possible, I've managed to skip some classes and Joel's pretty much had somebody cover all of his. I've been surprised by the abilities of these students, not only have they remembered pretty much all their lines in such a short space of time, they're also acting convincingly and all in another language. I hope it'll go well tomorrow and they get through to the next round.

Last weekend was really relaxing and full of great discoveries. On Saturday, we went to the capital town of our province and also it's namesake, Nakhon Sawan. There really isn't much to do there; the star attraction of the area is the massive hypermarket 'Big C' where it seems the residents of the whole province, our students and teachers congregate at the weekend. There were so many people there who recognised us even if we didn't recognise them. In such a small town like Takhli everybody knows our business and we were sure that come Monday morning everybody would've known that we'd been to Big C...we were right. As we don't have a fully equipped kitchen, we invested in an electric BBQ which we've already made so many delicious things on. Now, we're planning on having a big BBQ in a couple of weeks time and inviting people from the neighbouring provinces.

Even though Nakhon Sawan isn't really much to shout about, if we hadn't gone, we wouldn't have got the bus back and we wouldn't have made the excellent discoveries we did...Firstly, a Western slash Thai restaurant less than 15mins from our house and secondly a sports club! I noticed both out of the window and as soon as we got home that evening we got on the bike and went for dinner at the restaurant and the next day we went for a swim at the sports club. The restaurant has a menu written in English and has things like steaks, fries, pizzas and salads on it. The sports club is newly opened, has a two tiered driving range, a tiny gym and a beautiful outdoor pool surrounded by palm trees. It seems Takhli isn't as remote as I first thought.

This week has been achingly hot- about 40 degrees everyday. I've heard rain's on the way and I hope it is because it should clear the air and cool things down. I've never known such intense heat before. Thank goodness we have air-con.

Joel: The highlight of my weekend was getting the opportunity to spend time with my fabulous girlfriend on the momentous occasion of her twenty-fifth birthday. A distant second was getting the opportunity to meet these boys.

I found out last week that Barnes and Rush were going to be in town to play in the Bangkok Masters at the national stadium, so I decided to treat Rakhi to a visit as part of her celebratory weekend (I had to convince her that for me it was the equivalent of what meeting Cantona would be for her, all-be-it with a rapper-come-presenter and a wiry scouse goal-machine in place of a swaggering gaul.) We watched John's team, the Samui Happy Elephants, throw away a two goal lead in torrential rain to go out on penalties. The highlights for me were Rushie's run and cross for the second goal and Barnes' penalty in the shoot out. Check this out:

Right in the corner! Unsavable. You don't lose skills like that.

All in all, it was a top weekend. We stayed by Lumpini park, a huge patch of green amongst the skyscrapers, in an area we hadn't really explored before and it proved to be a top location. The massage was quality, helped to ease my aching joints, and the Vertigo bar on top of the Banyan Tree hotel truly was amazing. It reminded me of how scared I was standing on top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas. Seriously giddy. Dinner was beautiful and we were tipsy enough to sneak up to the roof top of our hotel for a cheeky midnight jaccuzzi. I really hope Rakhi had a fun time.

It's now Tuesday night and I'm starting to feel normal again. Rakhi's birthday's certainly take their toll.

Rakhi: Thanks to Joel, my birthday weekend was action packed and fun filled. After my last class on Friday, we dashed off to the minibus station hopped on a bus and arrived in Bangkok by 6:30 pm. Not bad. I pestered and pestered and harassed and begged Joel to tell me what he had in store for me over the weekend but he wouldn't budge. It wasn't until we arrived at our hotel that Joel made his revelation.

On Friday night we went for an Indian meal at the unfortunately named 'Planet Bollywood.' Thankfully the food was better than the name and since we'd deprived ourselves of Indian food for quite sometime we totally overindulged to the point of making ourselves sick. We tried to go for a stroll and digest around the nearby and infamous night bazaar but we were so bloated that we were fit for no more than an early night.

On Saturday morning we awoke with a dip in the rooftop spa of our hotel and a walk around Lumpini Park- Bangkok's answer to Central Park. Then we made our way to the Golden Mount where in the blazing midday sun we walked up lots of steps. We scalded our feet on the ground at the base of the monument but were rewarded with a great view of Bangkok. Joel had suggested going to a Muay Thai boxing match before dinner which is something I would definitely like to do. However, on this occasion I preferred the idea of having one of the discounted massage packages offered at our hotel as a birthday treat. After much deliberation, I went for a one hour Swedish massage and a one hour facial and Joel chose a 1hr30 mins Swedish massage after which he sneakily entered the sanctuary of my room to take this incredibly unflattering pic...

Feeling rejuvinated, looking refreshed and like a million baht, we went for a pre-dinner dinner drink at what is quite possibly the coolest bar in the entire world. Vertigo is an open-air, rooftop bar on the 63rd floor of the Banyan Tree hotel and it's absolutely exquisite. The bar is amazing and the view is even better. We saw the sun going down and for an hour and a half watched the distant skyline haphazardly illuminate in flashes of lightning. From there we went to a beautiful French restaurant where we ate steak and cheese and the French restaurateur admitted to us he was partial to plastic cheese slices on toast every now and then! After an evening of fine food, fine wine and a couple of liqueurs we were once again ready to hit the hay. This is what turning 25 and getting up at 6:30 every morning does to you!

I think the highlight of Joel's trip to Bangkok, nay, his trip to Thailand is what happened on Sunday but I'll let him tell about that in his own words.

We were greeted upon return to our home in Takhli by frazzled creatures that had found their way into our home and cooked to death in the heat of the house. I'm slowly getting used to our friends but I did get the shock of my life when last week, feeling brave, I went into the kitchen to make myself and Joel an iced coffee. The kitchen is our main source of creepies since there are gaps between the house and the roof either side of the kitchen. Out of nowhere, right in front of me a huge lizard popped it's head up and I screamed and ran like a girl shouting for Joel who was peacefully lazing in the hammock. I went right back to square one after that fright!

Since the weekend, I've been really tired and desperately feel like I need a day of nothing to recharge. However, Joel and I have been selected, along with a handful of other native teachers, to go to English Camp MC training this weekend in Lopburi. We're not obligated to go but we can get paid for it and furthermore if we're asked to do any camps in the future and MC them, we can ask for higher pay. The only problem is that all camps, whilst they're fun, take place over the weekend and since we're only here for a short amount of time anyway I don't know if I want to be working every weekend. Hmmm...